Matt McGee is the director of Sonrise Mountain Ranch, a Christian retreat ministry focused on helping couples and families invest in the things that matter most. After serving as an Air Force pilot, Matt completed a Masters of Divinity at Denver Seminary. Matt and his wife, Chantal, serve together at Sonrise and have seven children ranging in age from 24 to 5. He is the author of The View From The Rocking Chair: Living Today For The Things That Matter Most.
Matt, tell us a little bit about your ministry at Sonrise Mountain Ranch.
During Sonrise retreats and summits, we attempt to ask good questions so guests can consider how they are currently spending their time and energy, and what changes might be needed to invest deeply each day in the things that matter most.
If you hear that one of your loved ones has been in a car crash, or if, at a doctor’s appointment, you hear the words, “You have cancer,” then all of the sudden you can see with greater clarity what matters in this life and what doesn’t matter. You recognize that your relationships mean everything.
During Sonrise events, we try to give folks a chance to think differently about their life; to get up to the proverbial 30,000 foot view and determine if they are investing their time and energy in light of what they care most about. We set the table so they can consider their work-life balance and how they are using the time they have in their key relationships. For example, what are the things you want to be doing to deepen the relationships inside your home? How can you cultivate a life of faith inside your home and help your kids understand what God wants to do in and through their lives?
You welcome many pastors’ families to Sonrise, whether on sabbatical or family retreats. From your vantage point, are there any trends that concern you about the health and well-being of families in full-time ministry? Any stressors that are unique?
While the “on call 24/7/365” pastoral model has been around for a long time, the technological environment we live in today makes this paradigm especially dangerous. When the pastor is expected to be “always on”—always available to respond to the next text within the hour, they can feel enslaved to their phone. The pastor’s phone becomes more hated than Satan by their family members as it becomes the ever-present competitor for their attention. This mindset often creates an insidious resentment with potentially severe downstream effects.
Burnout, weariness, and stress are especially prevalent in pastoral ministry because of the myriad challenges pastors encounter in trying to implement sound strategies and set healthy boundaries. As mentioned above, the cultural expectation to be always available is a formidable challenge. Some pastors aim for a nebulous concept of “balance” instead of putting boundaries on their workday, technology, and availability to others. And many have been frustrated in trying to help other church leaders and congregants understand that these boundaries are not only necessary to thrive in pastoral ministry, but that are also key for everyone to have a vibrant walk with the Lord and deep relationships inside their own home.
Burnout and stress issues are not limited to pastors and their families, but our church leaders are the best bet to courageously set a new norm on how we invest our time and avoid these perennial threats.
Tell us about the “view from the rocking chair.”
The View From The Rocking Chair is an exercise we use at retreats (and in the book) to help people develop clear vision for whom they are becoming as they follow God. We ask this question: “What do you want your spouse, your kids, your friends, and your God to honestly say about you at the end of your life?” While I have several responses for each of these prompts, here are a few of mine:
At the end of my life, my wife, Chantal, will say…
“Matt showed me every day that I was first to him, only after God.”
At the end of my life, my children will say…
“My Dad loved me deeply and showed it by spending time with me.”
At the end of my life, my friends will say…
“Matt always asked the right questions at the right times, always out of love.”
At the end of my life, my God will say…
“You cared most about what I care most about.”
The “view from the rocking chair” is like looking through a telescope. It allows you to see the destination you are aiming for, long before you arrive. I’ve found it valuable to read through my answers almost every day to see where I am on course, and where I might be drifting off course. If you reflect on your answers regularly and keep them in mind when making choices, it can help you answer both big-picture and practical questions of life by providing clear vision of what you want your life to ultimately be about.
What do you think is the eternal value of joy? How can joyfulness affect a person’s impact in ministry?
I love in 1 Thessalonians 5 where it says, “Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The attitude that we exhibit as we go about our day with the calling we’ve received is, as others have pointed out, the aroma that emanates from our lives, and one of the most memorable aspects of who we are. It is uplifting to know that God created us not to go around with a somber look on our faces but to live daily in His joy. And we find in the Scriptures that this joy is not meant to be purely circumstantial; we are invited to retain it even on the messiest of days. When we can operate inside and outside of our homes with that joy, bringing others similarly to a place of joy and contentment, this is an amazing way to love others. No doubt it is a fantastic challenge. Yet it probably captures at least one central aspect of Jesus’ teaching on the fruitful life in John 15.
Based on your own experience in seminary, what advice would you offer students who desire this season to be a life-giving experience for the whole family?
A friend that had been in pastoral ministry for more than two decades challenged me when I was preparing for seminary: “Don’t go to seminary to check off a box or to get a piece of paper. Invest deeply in your time in seminary; invest deeply in your seminary education.” I feel like that helped shape my approach. In every class, even the classes that were not my favorites, I prayed before each session, “God, teach me at least one thing in this class that will help me be more effective—that will make me a better human.” Second, I think it is crucial to have a clear strategy on how you will invest your time, and to have clear boundaries in light of the never-ending requests and expectations. Third, schedule a regular check-up with your spouse (maybe even occasionally with your kids) to say, “How are we doing in our investment of our time and energy?” And bring home the fruits of your studies. My wife and I would spend 30 minutes most nights discussing my classwork or next paper, and I’d share the best stuff with the kids—at the dinner table or in family devotionals—as often as possible. Finally, thank your spouse and kids for their sacrifices of time and resources so that you can gain the gift of a seminary education. Thank them—early and often. Guard against taking your family or your education for granted.